Wow. Our world is more complicated every single day. We’re all too busy. And, no. It has not always been this way. We live in a time of unprecedented access to information and expertise. While this sounds like a great thing, it can be detrimental to new parents. What are you supposed to do? Who are you supposed to listen to?
Unrealistic Expectations for New Mothers
Breast is best. Pump and dump. Fed is best. Back to sleep (right now…) Working mothers are great role models. Only stay at home mommas truly know their children. Self-care is necessary. Mom means martyrdom. What? What are you supposed to do with all this? Unrealistic expectations from media and society contribute to confusion for new parents. There is no clear guideline that fits every single person, in every single situation. Then, there are comments from well-meaning friends and family members. Sometimes, others can try to amend their own parenting doubts by imposing advice on you. Or, they feel a sense of shame or guilt because you are choosing to parent a different way than they did. This is not your issue. You get to parent the way you want and need to, given your particular circumstances.
Feeling Like a Failure as a Mom
Speaking of those circumstances, please know that the way you parent is not always up to you. Yes, you make choices. Yes, you get to determine what is best for you and your baby. However, not everyone has the same level of ability or agency to act on the plans you have for parenthood.
Perhaps, you had a traumatic birth. You have more physical recovery to do than other mothers might have. It could be that your baby or body do not breastfeed the way you wanted to. You might have to go back to work earlier than your sister or best friend did. Finally, you might feel sad or mad all the time and have no idea why. All of these circumstances have an impact on your mood and feelings about your parenting.
Do the next right thing.
It’s easy to blame yourself for “failures” as a parent. That is going to last forever. But, as they say in the newest Frozen movie: “when you don’t know what to do, do the next right thing.” That’s what we do as parents. We cannot know what the perfect choice in any situation is. We can know what the best decision is at this moment, given the information we have. Plus, making one decision over another doesn’t mean you can’t go back again. That’s another beautiful thing about parenting. You can re-calculate and move forward on a different path at any point.
Our McLean, VA and Arlington, VA women’s counseling centers have skilled therapists who specialize in counseling for women during this postpartum season. We serve clients in the Northern Virginia, Maryland, and the Washington, DC area. This parenting thing isn’t easy. All mother’s deserve support and our counselors specialize in helping mothers in all stages of the parenting journey. Call today and begin regaining your confidence and move confidently in the direction you choose for your family.
Start Counseling at Postpartum Wellness
I know the last thing you need now is another appointment. However, this one is worth the time and effort. To begin counseling with a non-judgemental expert, just follow these steps:
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Contact Postpartum Wellness to schedule an intake counseling session
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Meet with a caring therapist
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Feel comfortable and connected as a couple again.
You are doing a great job, momma. Let us help compliment your support team so you can feel more confident in the mothering you do every day.
Other Mental Health Services for Women & Parents
At our Northern Virginia counseling offices, we help women live happy, healthy lives. Our skilled therapists care about what matters most to you. We offer a variety of services. Including counseling for postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety treatment, and supportive counseling during infertility. We also help women find healing after traumatic births as well as helping moms on bed rest or who are stressed during a high-risk pregnancy. You can have support in this journey! Contact us today to begin counseling and move toward healing and a more fulfilling motherhood.
