Most partners (e.g., husbands, boyfriends, family members, etc.) have good intentions and when they recognize that a pregnant or postpartum mom is struggling, they want to help and alleviate her stress. This is great support! But, often times, these partners don’t know what to do. Here’s what I run into a lot when I meet with new mothers.
TIPS TO HELP A NEW MOM
- Allow her space to figure out her new role. It can take awhile for her to feel like she knows what she’s doing. Try to resist asking her if she has a “good” baby or if her baby is sleeping through the night. Basically, these types of questions may lead to her feeling like a failure. She will define her own kind of motherhood.
- Don’t wait for her to ask for help. All mothers get hungry, thirsty, and tired. She is sleep deprived and doesn’t want to impose on anyone. So, just do it without her asking you for help. For example, bring over a meal, do a load of laundry, or walk the dog.
- Don’t forget about her. A lot of attention is often directed toward the new baby because babies are cute and cuddly. People can’t help but gravitate toward the baby. But, don’t let the new mom feel invisible or that she’s just along for the ride. Acknowledge her, give her a kiss, ask her about how she’s doing, and let her talk about her new experiences.
Postpartum Wellness was started to support the needs of expectant and new mothers in Virginia, Maryland, and Washington, DC. We are determined to build our village through valued services and collaborative connections for our clients as they transition into motherhood. In addition to counseling for pregnancy and postpartum health, we offer a variety of other wellness services. We want to help every woman enjoy their journey. Other services available include pregnancy and postpartum massage, night nurses, classes, and support groups. We offer individual and group counseling for infertility, pregnancy loss, traumatic birth, NICU or preemies, and military moms.
